TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
