it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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