he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
