covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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