Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
