But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
