im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
