I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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