i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
