he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
