I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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