my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
