Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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