Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
