Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
