he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
