I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I understand Curling. That high.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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