There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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