Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
