Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
