WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
