just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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