can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
