You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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