I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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