Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When did angry sex become our thing?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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