There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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