Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
