Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
