when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
