NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
