Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
