Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
