god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
