I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
