I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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