wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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