Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
