its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
