She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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