8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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