jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
