How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
