i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
