I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
