I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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