he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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