I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Randomize
