I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
