have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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